whynotme's Cancer Blog
June 11, 2008
| One question | Views: 270 |
The other day My mother-in-law asked me if I was dying. Needless to say I felt offended. I got mad and wondered why she would ask me that, I mean, I am married to her son, you would think that she would ask him in private. Anyway, at the time I half heartily told her that was up to God, and left it at that. I didn’t think about it for a couple of hours, then all of a sudden it hit me, I felt very depressed. The sadness that I felt was incredible. It was the worst night I’ve had since this whole thing started. I cried a lot. I didn’t get much sleep and when I woke up the next morning I immediately burst into tears. From the time I found out about the cancer I never once thought that I would actually die.
In the mist of crying and thinking about what my funeral would be like, I caught myself. WHAT IN THE HELL AM I DOING! I let one person, one human, define my destiny with one statement. I knew right then that I was no where near as close to God as I should be. I started to pray, really pray. I gave myself, and my life back to God. By the time I finished praying, the weight of death lifted and all I could feel was the love of God.
The bible says that the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. A lot of times people say things that we perceive as hurtful or foolish. But I believe that sometimes God is speaking through others to get our attention. If it had not been for that comment I would have not realized that my relationship with God was so severely damaged. That statement that seemed so foolish caused a domino effect that pushed me straight into God’s arms again. If she had asked my husband that question in private, he would have told her “no”, and he would have never told me about it. So I say thank you Jesus, for allowing my mother-in-law to be so bold as to ask me a question that changed my perception, and further showed me that God still works in mysterious ways.
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